Thursday, November 25, 2010

Stopping Place

I was listening to all the words you said
Twisting them around my brain
The way you drink through a shiny twisted straw
I was gargling them around my brain like mouthwash
Sometimes they make sense
And other times I know
I am not the girl in the storefront
Gold and covered in expensive materials
In the best light, on the best day
I walk a little faster than lightening strikes
My lips are less like sandpaper and more like
A musical instrument
A secret whisper I felt against my cheek
I needed to escape into some sort of embrace
Something to muffle out that negative
Thoughts of being parentless of walking this world
Like a lonely ghost
Lorraine Warren came to my school on Friday
To talk about close encounters with the supernatural
I wasn’t able to make it
Too many people that I used to love have dug their heads into the dirt
To sleep forever
Too many things frighten me
So that I become a tiny whisper against cotton sheets
My eyes become an after-thought
My life seems a mystery
A mathematical equation with
No square root
No stopping place
A pencil mark that fades onto white parchment
Somewhere in Mr. and Mrs. Lange’s backyard
When their children were just barely six and ten
A rabbit flew by the window in the den
Into some bushes or out in to the endless field
Perhaps it made it to the highway and got hit by a Ford pickup
Or maybe it’s waiting for me still
Around the bend

Monday, November 15, 2010

Books I've read this year:

I guess all that reading and writing of essays would explain my lack of creative writing. Lately I have not had a day off since I spend my days off from work at school. Next semester will be no different but I am determined to graduate college before I am 30. A lofty task---as I am only taking 2 classes per semester and one over the summer. The good news is that i am now an expert on the pre-Antebellum South and the works of Herman I am a bit of a Shakespeare enthusiast which i never imagined I would be. I guess I am overall very thankful for the oppourtunity to be back in college. Not everyone gets a second chance to do school.

Much love <3

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Everytime I look at ypu

Smoke gets in your eyes
Your lungs contract
Life smacks you in the face
I was wishing for Fantasy Island
Minus the theme-music
I wanted laughter and parties
And white gloves
I was living in a different time-zone
When you shrugged
Death stare
I was a peanut in your throat
I was better-late-than-never
But I was never yours completely
You were naïve and young
Your skin taut over lean thighs
You were focusing on school
And becoming a better person
I was focusing on flipping a clear pipe over and over
Trying not to burn my hands
Mixing powders and applying medicine
Over the cracks in the surface of my skin
I was working on numbing out the bad parts
So life wouldn’t feel so damn horror show scary
I was more alive in your arms than I have ever been
If that is enough for you
Then take it as a panacea
For all the wasted years
Your skin stretches over the places
You make it go
The work you force it into
You know I have never been cruel
Just sometimes less attentive than you would’ve liked
You never owned your own life
Drove a car into the sunset
Just because you could
You were always a slave to something
And this I know is true
My failures brush against me
Every time I look at you.