Smoke gets in your eyes
Your lungs contract
Life smacks you in the face
I was wishing for Fantasy Island
Minus the theme-music
I wanted laughter and parties
And white gloves
I was living in a different time-zone
When you shrugged
Death stare
I was a peanut in your throat
I was better-late-than-never
But I was never yours completely
You were naïve and young
Your skin taut over lean thighs
You were focusing on school
And becoming a better person
I was focusing on flipping a clear pipe over and over
Trying not to burn my hands
Mixing powders and applying medicine
Over the cracks in the surface of my skin
I was working on numbing out the bad parts
So life wouldn’t feel so damn horror show scary
I was more alive in your arms than I have ever been
If that is enough for you
Then take it as a panacea
For all the wasted years
Your skin stretches over the places
You make it go
The work you force it into
You know I have never been cruel
Just sometimes less attentive than you would’ve liked
You never owned your own life
Drove a car into the sunset
Just because you could
You were always a slave to something
And this I know is true
My failures brush against me
Every time I look at you.
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