Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Vampire in Queens

Hell is your house
Over-looking the Queens bridge
There is nothing to talk about
The refrigerator is empty except for a can of Sapporo
That some girl bought three years ago
That you left in there
Sentimental somehow
I don’t know
Haven’t had a real name
Or my own bed in five years
And I know the city is crawling with happy-endings
And none of them are mine
Even in the biblical sense
Once I did some African Dancing
With your Asian friend named, “Small Fry”
Who was petite and liked to kick up her feet
Danced like they were on fire
I couldn’t quite keep up
Took the 7—long ride back home to hell
On a non-stop train
I’m just saying that I danced hard
I gave it my all
But I never could shrug you off like the bad dream you are
I’ve got a nervous streak
Which you like
Because you think it means I am sensitive
But really I am peeling like onion skin
You called me baby, you called me honey baby
You called me “thin skin”
I need a sunset and a head full of regret
Just enough to light a fire under me
Like “Small Fry” I could fly off the handle
We were so old yesterday
But I woke up today crying like a newborn
Getting older never got any easier
Some of us want to grow up to have families
And mortgages
I just want to grow up to be a little less afraid
Of the simplest things
Paper-cuts and the little hang-nails
That bleed as I walk real slow down Delancy
Think about tea and nightingales
Think about things I imagine would make me happy
As if I could acquire this feeling through retail therapy
Hell is Queens
Hell is your New York City
Pretending to sleep so you can fuck me without having to look me in the eyes
You calling me fat on the 6 train
Sometimes we were preppy and young with hands and mouths which kiss fervently
And no real fear and you calling all the shots makes you feel less scared and slightly happy
If you can even call it that
I have a rock in the pit of my stomach
And it feels heavy when I walk
You said you knew I was bright
And so I was
bright enough to leave
The borough which sucks my blood
and makes love to me only when no one is watching.