New Sheets on Sunday for S.

I saw a man stumble to right
Himself, stand up straight
Drop his backpack
To the ground & hover
Over it like some space ship landing…

He was wasted and I was
Thinking of you
On 42nd Street
Looking into the funny mirrored
Pillars, the reflection, emaciated.
I was skin & bones except
For the bottom of my stomach
Totally bloated…
I was staring at the people passing by

Reflections like gazelles
Gaunt and lustrous magazine
style perfection; I looked back
and they were just people
fat and unloved racing to some
stupid fucking job they hate

and I can't sleep
on this dismal train
back to a city that threatens to
eat all the toffee inside me
leave me carved out and vacant
as a dented toilet paper roll

because in your bed your body is still
& calm and I can kiss you on the mouth

While you are totally unconscious & you'll
Smile and brush the hair from my eyes even though


your eyes are closed & this is the first time in so long
That I haven't felt like an
Unwanted
House
Guest


I can call & tell you that I'm okay
When I get home from the big city
Yr so pretty
In the faint light
That glows in your bedroom
Through the windows
& the street lamps

Your eyes are telling me jokes
Your mouth is a fixed hello
Your hair is out of control
You make me sentimental
And not for some memory
But just for you

I have nothing to compare this to…


I am catching feelings
And you said it first on the 7
From Queens to 23rd St.
You held me hand
Stroked the inside of one palm
Said you were scared
Of the same thing
Happening again
That some girl you used to love
Said to you that:
Your money was her money &
her money was her money
& you know That I'd get by
But if I had it could I share?
& I was dumbstruck
Defensive
Because I wanted you to know
That I'd been
robbed blind
that I could
never cheat you
that no one
ever makes me
laugh like you do
so hard that I
cough rocks
that no one
makes me
calm
as you do
2 fingers
Bent inside my
Open mouth
I'll do whatever
You want

Happy
Happy happy
Because you
Never
Take take
Take care, happy
To take
You in my
Mouth
Your body soft & clean
Like new sheets on Sunday.